101+ Shirt Jokes & Puns: Button Up Your Laughter!
👋 Hey there, fellow punthusiasts! 😂 Get ready to laugh your buttons off with this hilarious list of shirt jokes and puns! 🥳 We’ve got the best, most clever, and funniest shirt-related humor that’s perfect for kids and adults alike. From “tee”-rific puns to jokes that will leave you in stitches, this collection is sure to “suit” your funny bone. So, buckle up and get ready for some side-splitting shirt-ables! 🤣
Top Shirt Jokes – Best Picks
- Why did the golfer wear two shirts? In case he got a hole-in-one!
- I used to play guitar in a band called “100% Cotton.” We mostly played T-Shirt gigs.
- What’s the most confident clothing article? A shirt, it’s always the first one picked!
- Why are shirts so optimistic? They always think they’ll have a bright future ahead of them!
- What’s a shirt’s favorite music genre? Anything with a good collar-boration!
- I saw a sign that said “Ironing Service: No Shirt, No Problem!” Seemed pretty bold considering their business model.
- What do you get when you cross a shirt with a sheep? A woolly jumper!
- How do trees get on the internet? They log in! … Get it? Log in? … I’ll just leaf.
- I accidentally ripped my shirt while working out… Guess that’s what I get for exercising my right to bear arms.
- I got a new shirt made of cling film… I’m hoping it will help me become one with nature.
- What did the short-sleeved shirt say to the long-sleeved shirt? “Hey, looking cool!”
- Why did the shirt get in trouble at school? For being collared!
Clever Shirt Puns – Top Picks
- “Excuse my shirt, it’s made of boyfriend material.” (Perfect for a cute and comfy tee)
- “I’m not always a morning person, but when I am, I’m shirt-astic.” (Ideal for a bright and cheery shirt)
- “This shirt is called ‘the ex’… It’s not here anymore.” (For a funny graphic tee)
- “I’m not saying I’m lazy, but I did consider wearing this shirt twice this week.” (Perfect for a comfy, worn-in shirt)
- “This is my ‘I can’t adult today’ shirt. Please don’t expect much.” (Great for a casual, comfy shirt)
- “I’m not sure what’s more comfortable, this shirt or my bed. It’s a tough deci-shirt-ion.” (Ideal for a soft, cozy shirt)
- “I used to have a gambling problem. But then I lost my shirt.” (Perfect for a bold graphic tee)
- “Warning: May spontaneously talk about my shirt.” (A fun one for a shirt with a unique design)
- “Life is too short to wear boring shirts.” (For a statement piece or a bold print)
- “They said I could be anything, so I became shirtless.” (Great for a humorous, summery image)
- “Sorry for what I said when I wasn’t wearing my ‘good shirt.'” (Perfect for a favorite, go-to shirt)
- “Keep your shirt on!… unless you have a better one I can borrow.” (Fun for a playful and cheeky vibe)
- “I’m not always indecisive, but when I am, I buy both shirts.” (Ideal for a design with multiple shirts or a shopping-themed image)
Funny Shirt One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Shirt Jokes
- My wife hates it when I wear Hawaiian shirts out. I think she’s just jealous of my aloha-bility.
- What did the shirt say to the iron? Today’s a good day to be pressed.
- I spilled coffee on my shirt this morning. It was a latte fun to clean up.
- I saw a shirt with a map of the internet on it… It had one button: 404 Not Found.
- Never judge a shirt by its collar. It might have a chip on its shoulder.
- I’m starting a band called “100% Cotton.” We’re all about that comfortable sound.
- My shirt keeps telling me to do squats… I think it just wants to see me get ripped.
- Ironing is the only time I’m truly pressing matters.
- My new shirt is made of boyfriend material. Too bad it still lives with its mom.
- I bought a camouflage shirt the other day… Good thing I didn’t lose my receipt, I’d never find it.
- What do you call a shirt that can’t make up its mind? A maybe-tee.
- Someone complimented my tie-dye shirt today. They said it really tied the outfit together.
- I accidentally shrank all my shirts in the wash. Guess I’m going to have to face the short-comings.
- My girlfriend says I have too many shirts… I think she’s just picking on me.
Shirt QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Shirt
- Q: Why was the shirt so stressed out? A: Because it was always getting ripped off!
- Q: What do you call a shirt that’s always getting into trouble? A: A real tee-shirt!
- Q: Why did the shirt go to the library? A: It heard there were some great short stories inside!
- Q: What’s a pirate’s favorite type of shirt? A: An arrrgyle sweater!
- Q: Why did the shirt fail its history test? A: It kept getting its dates mixed up – it thought the Renaissance was a fabric softener!
- Q: What did the tie say to the shirt after a long day? A: “Hang in there, buddy, it’s almost collar-quitting time!”
- Q: Why was the new shirt so cocky? A: It thought it was all that and a pocket tee!
- Q: What kind of shirts do lumberjacks wear? A: Flannel, but they prefer to shop at the plaid store!
- Q: Why did the fashion designer quit his job? A: He was tired of working for peanuts…literally, those tiny buttons were driving him nuts!
- Q: What’s a ghost’s favorite type of shirt? A: A BOO-ton-down!
- Q: Why did the plain white shirt get a job at the bank? A: It wanted to be a loaner!
- Q: What do you call a shirt that likes telling scary stories? A: A terri-cotton tale teller!
- Q: Why did the comedian wear a Hawaiian shirt to his show? A: He wanted the audience to be in stitches!
- Q: What’s the most eco-friendly type of shirt? A: An algae-bra! (Alright, maybe not FUNNY, but definitely groan-worthy!)
Dad Jokes About Shirt: Pun-Filled Quips
- Dad’s Laughable Laundry List: Shirt Edition
- I used to have a shirt made entirely of mirrors… then I saw myself in it and realized I was in-vest-ed in the wrong thing.
- My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. So I took it off my t-shirt and put it outside. Problem solved, right?
- This morning I put on my shirt backwards. Talk about a re-tail moment!
- Why did the short-sleeved shirt get in trouble? Because it was always getting tanked!
- I told my son his shirt was inside out. He just shrugged and said, “Yeah, I’m a little buttoned-up today.”
- My wife just ironed my Hawaiian shirt. Now it has a permanent press-ence in my closet.
- Just saw a shirt with a picture of the Earth on it looking sad. Guess it’s feeling a little blue.
- Bought a camouflage shirt the other day. I can’t find it anywhere!
- Got a job at a t-shirt factory but got fired on my first day. Seems I wasn’t cutting it.
- I wanted a shirt with a picture of a fruit basket, but they only had one left. It was the last pear-a-digm of its kind!
- You know, I used to be really indecisive about my shirts… then I just shirt-snapped!
- What do you call a shirt that likes to bowl? An alley-oop neck!
- You know what they say… a clean shirt is a happy shirt! Or at least that’s what I tell myself when I’m doing laundry.
Shirt Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why did the boy wear a plain white shirt to art class? He wanted to be a work of art!
- My dad has a shirt with all the letters of the alphabet except one. Which one is missing? The letter “T”…because it’s a shirt!
- Why did the shirt go to the hospital? It needed to be iron-ed out!
- What did the tie say to the shirt? Let’s hang out sometime!
- What do you get if you cross a shirt and a sheep? A cotton-baa shirt!
- Why was the shirt so tired? It had a long sleeve!
- My shirt is so strong, it can lift an elephant! It’s got muscles…well, muscle shirt muscles!
- Why do fish wear shirts underwater? Because they don’t want to be sea-through!
- What kind of shirt does a cloud wear? A thunder-shirt!
- Why did the shirt get in trouble at school? It kept getting into button-pushing contests!
- Where do shirts dance? At a disco-collar!
- What kind of shirt do astronauts wear? A rocket-tee!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Harry. Harry who? Harry up and put your shirt on; we’re going to the park!
Shirt Jokes and Puns for Elders
- Why don’t they make shirts from velcro? They’re a total rip-off!
- My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. So I took it to the movies. It was wearing a tiny little shirt afterward that said, “I saw Spiderman, and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.”
- What did the tie say to the shirt after a long day at the office? “Collar we go again tomorrow?”
- Why did the old man wear all his shirts backward? Because his trophies wouldn’t fit on the front.
- I started making t-shirts for introverts… but they’re not selling well, which is fine by me.
- My wife got angry when I said her new silk shirt made her look fat. It turns out the fire I started to distract her wasn’t helping the situation.
- What’s the difference between a bad golfer and a cheap shirt? You can iron out the wrinkles in a cheap shirt.
- They say a clean house is a sign of a wasted life. But at least I have a clean shirt on to wear to the retirement home.
- I bought a shirt with a picture of a ladder on it. Turns out it was a step-grandpa’s favorite.
- Doctor’s orders: “You can’t wear anything that constricts your blood flow.” Guess I’m going shirtless to my colonoscopy!
- I tried to make a belt out of watches… It was a waist of time. Now I need a new shirt because this one is ruined.
- I saw a sign that said “Watch for Children.” How can one be prepared for such a thing? Also, do they have any shirts in my size?
- I told my tailor to make a shirt out of my enemy’s skin. He said it was “beyond the pale.”
- I went to a vintage clothing store and bought a shirt made entirely of emotional baggage. It’s surprisingly comfortable, but I keep getting flashbacks to my ex.
- Why did the old shirt retire? Because it was always getting taken for granted and never got let out anymore!
Shirt Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- Just got fired from my job at the bank. Apparently, my position was “open collar.” 👔😭 #punny #fired #shirthappens
- I want to open a store that sells shirts for introverts. The name? “Silence is Golden… Retriever.” 🐶👚 #introvertlife #shirtideas #punnybusiness
- I used to have a shirt made entirely of mirrors… but then I changed. 😎🪞 #selfreflection #shirtoftheday #punkingoutagain
- “This shirt is tear-resistant,” they said. Challenge accepted, emotional movie marathon! 😭🍿 💪 #emotionalrollercoaster #punnyandrelatable
- What did the shirt say to the iron? “Today’s the day we press on!” 💪👚🔥 #motivationmonday #punnyandpowerful
- You know you’ve found the perfect shirt when it’s comfy, stylish, AND makes you the PUN-isher! 😈💥 #punnyandproud #shirtenvy
- My new shirt is made from recycled material. What material? Boyfriend material, obviously. 😉👚♻️ #upcycle #ecofashion #punnylovelife
- Don’t worry, be happy! Unless you’re a shirt in the dryer. Then you should be very worried. 😬🔥👚 #laundryday #punnyandtruefacts
That’s All, Folks! Now Go Forth and Wear Your Punny Shirts!
We’ve reached the bottom of our laundry basket of shirt jokes and puns! We hope these quips and yarns tickled your funny bone and left you feeling anything but buttoned-up. Don’t stop here, though! Iron out your laughter lines and head over to our website for more hilarious puns and jokes that will leave you feeling wrinkle-free with joy.
