135+ May Puns & Jokes: A Month of Laughs
Get ready to laugh your socks off because May has arrived, and with it comes a blooming bouquet of puns and jokes! 🌸😂 This post is bursting with the best May humor, from clever quips about the calendar to side-splitting puns that’ll make you shout “May the Fourth be with you!” Whether you’re a kid or a kid at heart, get ready for a list of funny jokes about May that are sure to leave you in stitches! 🤣 Let’s dive in!
Top ‘May Jokes’ – Best Picks
- Why is May the least positive month? Because it’s always “May”be, never “May” do.
- What’s a gardener’s favorite month? May, because they can really dig in!
- Why did the calendar page get fired? It couldn’t control its May dates!
- What did the ocean say to May? Nothing, it just waved! 🌊 (But it might have said, “May the tides be with you.”)
- How do you make a fruit salad truly special? You add a “may”onnaise-based dressing! 😜
- Why was the math book sad in May? It was full of problems it couldn’t solve “May”be until June.
- You know what they say about May… If at first you don’t succeed, “May” as well try again!
- What do you call a sheep that shears itself in May? Baaarbaric! 🐑
- What’s a pirate’s favorite month after April? Aye, May-te!
- Why don’t they allow calendars in the library? Because they have too “May” dates!
- How do bees get to work in May? They take the buzz! 🐝
- What did one raindrop say to the other in May? Two’s company, let’s “May”ke it a rain shower! 🌧️
- Why was the scarecrow awarded Employee of the Month in May? Because he was outstanding in his field! 🌾
- I tried to make a calendar out of paper towels… But I could only get as far as “May.” 🧻
- My friend said May is his least favorite month… I told him “May”be next month will be better!
- Why are rivers always rich? Because they have two banks and “May”be even more! 💰
- Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon that opened in May? I heard the food was good but it had no atmosphere. 🚀
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato! (But especially in “May,” because he’s “May”laxing.)
- What do you call it when a ghost wins a race in May? A phantom finish! 👻
- Never argue with a calendar in May… It has all the “May”jor holidays! 😉
Clever ‘May Puns’ – Best Picks
- “May” the odds be ever in your flavor!” – said to someone about to eat a delicious dessert.
- Feeling so indecisive this month, I can’t decide if I “may” or “may not.”
- I joined a support group for people obsessed with the month of May. It’s called May-nia, and let me tell you, “May”hem ensues at every meeting.
- What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe.
- Just saw a sign that said “Flowers for Sale – May or May Not Be Fresh.” Seems a little risky…
- My friend asked if I was free in May. I told him, “I don’t know, May.”
- My dog is named May. Sometimes she’s well-behaved, sometimes she’s not. It’s a real “May” or “may not” situation.
- I tried to make a calendar out of cheese, but it just wouldn’t work. Turns out, May is all cheddar.
- What do you call a band that’s popular in May? May-stream.
- What’s a gardener’s favorite month? May, because that’s when things get real.
- I started a band called “May-Day!” We’re only popular one month out of the year.
- What did the calendar say to May? “You’re looking mighty fine!”
- My friend asked me what my favorite Star Wars movie was. I said, “May the Fourth be with you…but seriously, it’s The Empire Strikes Back.”
- What do you call a sheep that’s always indecisive? A maybe-ee.
- I wanted to go on a cruise this May, but I couldn’t decide. Guess I’ll just stay on the “May-be list” for now.
- Why was May feeling so confident? Because it knew it was the most spring-tacular month of the year!
- My love for May is like a blooming flower – it just keeps growing!
- This May, I’m embracing the unknown. Because as they say, “What ‘May’ be, will be.”
Funny ‘May One-Liner Jokes’ – Short & Funny May Jokes
- I tried to make a calendar out of mayonnaise… but all the dates were wrong and it went bad in May.
- Someone asked me what the opposite of “May-be” is… I said, “No-vember.”
- I wanted to plant a garden in December, but my friend said, “May as well wait till May.”
- I told my friend all my problems seem to happen in May. He said, “May I suggest therapy?”
- My calendar is blank after May. Guess I’ll have to June it yourself!
- I don’t know what’s gotten into me this month… May-be it’s all the sunshine.
- May the Fourth be with you… unless you’re a calendar, then May the First is your day.
- Does anyone else feel like April just gave us the May-jor runaround?
- If you rearrange the letters in “May Day,” it spells “Yda Yam”… coincidence? I think not.
- I wanted to go on a cruise in May, but all the good ones were booked. They said, “May-be next year!”
- My friend said May is the shortest month because it only has three letters… I said, “Feb-ruary?”
- I asked my dog what his favorite month was. He just wagged his tail and said, “May.”
- I’m starting a band called “The Mays.” Our first album is called, “No Guarantees.”
- If you’re feeling down, just remember: May-be tomorrow will be better. And if not, there’s always chocolate.
- I put all my eggs in one basket… in May. I’m hoping for a May-l basket surprise!
- May the odds be ever in your favor… unless you’re playing against me in May.
- My friend asked me if I wanted to go skydiving in May. I said, “May-be another time, I’m feeling a little jumpy today.”
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato who refuses to “May”-ke an effort.
May QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about May
- Q: What did the calendar say to May? A: You’re looking quite spring-tacular!
- Q: Why was May hesitant to enter the talent show? A: She was afraid she might not win.
- Q: What’s a gardener’s favorite month? A: May, because that’s when things really blossom!
- Q: What did the ocean say to May? A: Nothing, it just waved!
- Q: Why did May get a job at the calendar factory? A: She heard they were looking for someone with experience.
- Q: What’s a bee’s favorite month? A: May – it’s a buzzing time for them!
- Q: Why did May bring a ladder to the party? A: Because she heard the drinks were on the house!
- Q: What did the history book say about May? A: “May” or “May not” be accurate – sources are unclear!
- Q: Why is May so good at solving mysteries? A: She has a knack for “May”-king deductions!
- Q: How do trees get on the internet? A: They log in! And in May, they use their “spring-loaded” connection!
- Q: Why was May feeling so optimistic? A: Because she believed “May” the force be with her! (A little May the 4th pun!)
- Q: What’s a gardener’s favorite type of music? A: Anything with a good beet – especially in May when the veggies are fresh!
- Q: What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A: A pouch potato – especially in May when it’s warm enough to lounge!
- Q: Why don’t they allow scissors in the calendar factory? A: They don’t want any un-“May”jor accidents!
- Q: What did the flower say to May? A: Hey girl, you’re looking blooming lovely!
- Q: Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? A: Too many cheetahs! But in May, they play for flower buds instead of chips.
- Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth? A: A gummy bear! And in May, they love to snack on fresh berries.
- Q: Why are fish so easy to weigh? A: Because they have their own scales! And in May, they’re especially heavy from all the spring feeding.
- Q: What kind of bird works at a construction site? A: A crane! And in May, they’re busy building nests for their families.
Dad Jokes About May: Pun-Filled Quips
- “I tried to make a calendar of May… but I got told May way or the highway!”
- “I asked my wife what was special about the month of May. She said, ‘May-be you should remember!”
- “May the Fourth be with you… unless you don’t take out the trash. Then May the chores be with you.”
- “My wife asked me to pick up some mayonnaise at the store. I said, ‘May-be later, I’m busy right now!'”
- “You know, they should call May ‘Maybe’ because you never know what the weather will be like.”
- “Son, can you name a month that ends in a ‘Y’? Sure, May! …And how about one that starts with ‘M’? You got me there, Dad!”
- “Why was May worried about her test? Because it was a ‘May-jor’ part of her grade!”
- “What do you call a lazy kangaroo born in May? A pouch potato!”
- “What did the calendar say to May? You’re looking pretty fine!”
- “Why is May so good at gardening? She has a green thumb-day!”
- “What do you call a bee’s favorite month? May, because that’s when all the flowers are in bloom!”
- “I wanted to go on vacation this May, but my wife said ‘May-be next year!'”
- “What did the one flower say to the other flower on May 1st? Hey bud, happy May Day!”
- “My wife asked if I booked our summer vacation yet. I told her I’m waiting for a May-cation special!”
- “Why don’t they allow May in the kitchen? Because she’s always trying to butter up the toast!”
- “How do trees get on the internet? They log in! And what month are they most active? May-ll the leaves be with you!”
- “I wanted to plant a garden in February, but my wife said ‘May-be you should wait until the weather warms up!'”
- “May the odds be ever in your favor… unless you’re playing cards with me.”
- “Having a barbecue this May? Don’t forget the most important ingredient: good company!”
May Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Q: What do you call a sleepy sheep in the month of May? A: A baa-d sleeper!
- Q: Why did the gardener plant a light bulb in May? A: He wanted to have a power plant!
- Q: What’s a bee’s favorite month? A: May, because they can say “Happy Bee-day” all month long!
- Q: What did the calendar say to May? A: You’re looking mighty fine!
- Q: What kind of flowers grow on your face in May? A: Tulips! (Point to your nose and say “two lips”)
- Q: Why is May the happiest month for trees? A: Because they’ve finally leafed winter behind!
- Q: What did the mama bird say to her chick in May? A: May you always fly high!
- Q: What do you get if you cross a bear and a month? A: I don’t know, but it’s beary exciting in May!
- Q: Why do we celebrate Mother’s Day in May? A: Because they May-ke our lives amazing!
- Q: Why are artists great at hide and seek in May? A: Because they can easily May-ke a scene and blend in!
- Q: Why did the cat want to go outside in May? A: It wanted to chase the May-flies!
- Q: What’s a gardener’s favorite dance move in May? A: The Water Sprinkler!
- Q: What happens when you mix a magician with the month of May? A: Anything you can think of, May-be!
- Q: Why did the scarecrow win an award in May? A: Because he was outstanding in his field!
- Q: What kind of music do birds sing in May? A: Anything they want, it’s bird-a-oke season!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? May. May who? May I come in? It’s cold out here!
- Q: Why is May like a pirate’s favorite month? A: Because it’s when they bury their treasure – May-teys!
- Q: What do you say to a grumpy bee in May? A: Bee happy! It’s a beautiful day!
May Jokes and Puns for Adults
- Why did May refuse to go out with April? Because she was always saying, “May-be later.”
- My therapist told me to be more present. So I moved all my stuff to May. Now I’m living in the moment… literally.
- They say May showers bring April flowers… but with climate change, it’s more like May wildfires bring June evacuations.
- My love life is like the month of May: full of potential but ultimately disappointing.
- Why was the calendar always stressed out? Because it had too many dates in May.
- I tried to make a reservation at a fancy restaurant for two in May. They said, “May-be next year.” Turns out, love doesn’t conquer all… especially not full reservation books.
- My financial advisor told me to diversify my portfolio this May. So I invested in mayonnaise. You know, gotta keep things spicy.
- You know you’re getting old when your idea of a wild May Day celebration is eating a whole pint of Ben & Jerry’s without using a spoon.
- I wrote a song about procrastination. I’ll finish it May-be tomorrow.
- My dating app bio just says, “Looking for my May-December romance.” So far, I’ve only attracted crickets. And they weren’t even Mayflies.
- This heat wave in May is getting ridiculous. I saw a chicken lay a hard-boiled egg this morning.
- What’s the difference between a bad golfer and a magic trick in May? One shanks the ball, the other makes the month disappear quickly.
- My therapist told me to embrace my anger. So I punched May right in the face. Turns out, calendar assault is frowned upon.
- Why don’t they allow existentialism to be taught in May? Because then the question becomes, “May or May Not?”
- I’m not saying I’m lazy, but I once got fired from a job for putting off all my work until “May-be next week.”
- Just saw a sign that said, “Free puppies! Available in May.” Guess I’m moving to a tropical island and starting a calendar-themed dog shelter.
- My therapist asked me to describe my anxiety in one word. I said, “May-hem.”
- Remember, folks: age is just a number. But in May, it’s also a reminder that summer is coming and your beach bod isn’t ready.
May Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Other Social Media
- May the 4th be with you… to finally do the dishes. It’s been three days. (Relatable humor, combines pop culture with everyday life)
- What do you call a bee’s to-do list for May? A May-bee list! 🐝 (Classic pun, works well with a cute emoji)
- Someone asked me what I’m doing in May. I said, “May-be something, may-be nothing. I haven’t decided yet!” 😎 (Casual, relatable to indecisiveness)
- Just realized my calendar for May is completely blank. Guess I have a lot of “May-be” dates this month! 😉 (Playful, good for singles)
- My bank account in May is like a Jedi Master… always telling me, “May the funds be with you.” 😭 (Funny and relatable financial struggle)
- Why is May so indecisive? Because it can never decide if it wants to be spring or summer! 🌸☀️ (Personifies May, relatable to weather changes)
- My love life is like the month of May… always seems to be stuck between “April showers” and “June gloom.” 🌧️😔 (Self-deprecating humor, relatable to relationship struggles)
- Just saw a sign that said, “Free kittens, available May 1st.” Guess you could say they’re “May-king” their grand entrance! 😹 (Wholesome and punny, appeals to animal lovers)
- My boss asked if I could work extra hours in May. I said, “May-be next time. My schedule is fully booked with naps and Netflix.” 😴 (Sarcastic and relatable to work-life balance)
- What did the calendar say to May? “You’re looking mighty fine!” 🗓️ (Simple, classic visual pun)
- May the odds be ever in your favor… to actually get through this month without eating an entire cake by yourself. 🎂 (Combines pop culture reference with relatable struggle)
- My therapist told me to make a list of things I’m grateful for in May. So far, I’ve got: 1. Coffee. 2. That’s it for now, I’ll get back to you. ☕ (Self-deprecating humor with a touch of reality)
- I asked my dog what his plans were for May. He just wagged his tail and said, “Walkies?” Guess that’s a “May-be” in dog language! 🐶 (Wholesome, relatable to dog owners)
- I’m not saying I’m lazy, but my idea of a productive May is successfully switching from my winter pajamas to my summer pajamas. 😴 (Self-deprecating, relatable to procrastination)
- May: The only month where it’s socially acceptable to eat an entire pint of ice cream for dinner because, “Hey, it’s almost summer!” 🍦 (Justifies bad habits with humor)
- You know you’re an adult when your biggest concern about May is remembering to change the batteries in your smoke detector. 🚨 (Relatable to adulting struggles)
May the Puns Be With You… Always!
We hope these May puns and jokes have tickled your funny bone and given you a good chuckle. But don’t stop there! May-ke your way over to our website for even more pun-derful jokes and puns that will have you laughing all year round. We’ve got a whole bouquet of humor blooming just for you!
